Caught between Love and Fear...

So I randomly checked my Friendster account today to just to see how things were. Before I was on Facebook and Myspace, I kicked things off with that social network back in 2003. I remember things were tres crazy when I ran into people I hadn't seen for years. Sometimes it was cool (dang girl you all pretified now!) or sometimes not so cool (dang boy what happend? U on drugs or somethin'?). But Friendster truly revolutionized how we kept track of each other.

Anyway, I totally forgot that I had kept a blog on Friendster. As I read through some of the entries I thought to myself, "hey this is some good stuff!" I figured I'd copy them over and preserve here on Blogspot. So here are 2 to start things off..

A Good Man...

Love hurt me today because I masked an imposter and passed it off as being her. She reeled as I paraded a charade in front of an innocent audience and passed off affection that appeared in no mirror. A sham I sculpted. A lie instead of truth.

But I learned through truth spoken from lips confessing pain. I was humbled by a life lived hard but with spirit and hope. I was shamed when lust eclipsed honest intimacy but was forbidden because of a true epiphany. And my desire was turned to genuine empathy and its lover sympathy. Every inch of male in me had screamed for satisfaction as her body curved around all my senses. But then she spoke.

"You're a good man. There are so many reasons why I know this. Good and bad. There is nothing wrong in being good."

And then, I wanted her to be right about me.

Truth...

If this path is truly our own to discover then should it be limited to the conventions that and clichés that often surround it? Or should we be free to allow it grow out of the conventions that people consider to be the one true path?

Isn’t this behavior a contradiction unto itself? If truth is to be sought out for oneself, then by nature since all of us are unique beings, then aren’t all our paths unique as well? One might say that these thoughts are put on this page out of fear of affirming that there is one way…

But then again this is me facing my fear and embracing it. By exploring my fears am I not truly walking the path? If I search with a sincere heart and am truly open would I not then find the fundamental truths as promised? Do all paths truly lead to God in the end?

A teacher can only show one how to walk after all. It should be up to us to choose where to walk too. A teacher can show us how to achieve clarity it should be up to us whether to embrace this precepts and then use them to seek truth on our own.

Hopefully proper instruction for the open and willing heart teaches us to scrutinize each proposition with openness devoid of fear and realize we have the freedom to explore. Because in the end, it is God who gently guides us to his side…

Truth is God. God is truth.