Nuptuals and The Maturity of Inspector Calahan

It is so rare these days that I get to sit in front of the computer and sum up my thoughts and musings. But here I am trying to assemble a blog entry to post online. Much has happened in the past little bit and here are some brief reflections on said events.

2009 has been the year of weddings. Just this past weekend I attended another one. This one was in Banff and I got to play two sax solos for the event. I was thrilled to meet the Honorable Judge Robin White who performed the ceremony and directed me in my blocking for my performance. Apparently this was big deal because said judge and the father of the groom (a wealthy Japanese business man) were very much upper tier on the social circuit in Banff.

Other than meeting the judge I enjoyed the food, (surprisingly, the highlight dish was the potatoes! I had thirds.) Horsing around with the MC’s son Glenn, (dude I really don’t think “Beautiful” by James Blunt is appropriate for a wedding!) And paying $3.00 for a can of Pepsi at the bar! (The waitress was eyeing me for a tip. Yeah I dropped another 2 bucks for that can!)



Tess had to work early in the evening the next day so after church I headed back to Red Deer early. Besides pushing the Fusion’s V6 and the car to speeds in excess of 140 km (North of 80 mph for you American readers! Something you don’t want to do unless you have a great handling car on Highway 1 in the winter!) I took the short cut around Calgary through Cochrane and Airdrie and made it back to Gasoline Alley (just before Red Deer) in about 2 hrs and 15 minutes. I arrived “early” at about 6:30 pm. So I figured I’d catch a movie at the Galaxy.

I bought a ticket for Grand Turino starring Clint Eastwood. Clint plays a character named Walt who is a Korean War veteran that has deep seated prejudiced views about Asians. These prejudices are a brought to the surface when Hmong family moves in next door. Tao, a teenage boy, is a member of said family and is shy and unassuming. Events escalate between Tao and Walt when the former is forced to steal Walt’s prized Grand Turino in order to be accepted into a local Hmong gang.

This is said to be Clint Eastwood’s last movie as an actor and as my status on Facebook alludes, it is a wonderful way to go. Once scene in particular stands out. It is when Su, Walt’s new Hmong friend and sister to Tao (yes the dude warms up to Asians in his way) is being harassed by black street gang and the aged yet still menacing Walt comes to her rescue. I couldn’t help but compare this to famous “Do you feel lucky punk” scene in Dirty Harry. It seems that cinema has matured and having Eastwood here is proof.

Obama, The Pope, and Hopia...

The CNN presentation of news is a prime example of “news as entertainment.” In my opinion events such as the inauguration of the first African American president should stand on their own merit. No need to hype them up with graphics, music and an anchor’s delivery that is akin to a sportscaster giving the play by play in finals game. Imagine the MLK "I have a Dream" speech being preceded by “Now live from Washington! At the Lincoln Memorial! Dr Martin Luther King! Let’s get ready to rumble!” Cue graphics. Cue James Earl Jones. “This is CNN.”

Anyway.

While I’m a little turned off as to how CNN is tracking the first few days of the Obama Era, I have to confess that I am highly interested in how the man is doing. Like many others I was captivated by his “audacity of hope” speech, moved by the simplicity and straightforwardness of his announcement that he was indeed running for president (caught that one on Youtube), and “yes we can!” I find myself cheering for the lanky dude!

(Lincoln was lanky too… hmmm… coincidence… I think not…)

However.

While the focus seems to be on the “but ifs” and “what ifs” should his leadership fail, I wonder what would happen if his efforts proved to be a resounding success. What if the man almost single handedly rescues the United States (of course the rest of the world and Canada would benefit from this) and thereby solidifies the land of the red, white, and blue as the one true world superpower.

Tie the above with the recent news that Vatican has detached itself from the oversight of the Italian government and asserted its own self rule. This essentially gives the church the jurisdiction to make its own laws and govern itself autonomously. Furthermore Pope Benedict has issued an edict that declares that salvation is now only possible through membership to the mother church and void from any other denomination. Both actions are merely formalities on attitudes long held by the Vatican. However, making it official does make one wonder.

So.

Connect the dots.

On a lighter note...

The Hopia era is coming!

Are you ready?

The Road to Forever Peter and Patricia...

I feel like a bum for taking a day off even though I am also proud that this is the first sick day I’ve taken from work ever since I started. I do plan to go back to work tomorrow and I am mentally preparing myself to “get back into the war”.

Yesterday I was irritated by the fact that my co-worker informed that we’d have to do double runs to Calgary in order to bring back two trucks that were needed for customers this morning. I was already feeling the creeping in of a sore throat and head cold so I just wanted to go home. My only incentive was that she informed me that I’d be driving a Ford Fusion down that needed to be sent “out of fleet”. I perked up because I love Fusions.

Now I am generally not a domestic car fan. I don’t know whether it’s genetic or a result of conditioning but I definitely fit the cliché of an Asian who is into imports. I love the last generation M3, the new Nissan GTR, and taking my younger sister’s Corolla out for a spin is a fun thing. However few realize that the Ford Fusion is based on the architecture of the current generation Mazda 6. So technically it isn’t really an import just a hybrid of sorts. You know how I like the concept of “hybreeding” a la my Specialized Sirrus Sport.

Anyway I had to take back the unit to Budget’s distribution center because it was going “out of fleet.” This basically means that it was slated for retirement and would either face the fate of being returned to the dealership it had been leased from or sold at an auction. Budget loves having brand new cars to rent out. This amazes me because the odometer on this car only read 17,500 km on it and it drove just as well as some of the units that we have that have only 400 km on them. I had personally chosen this unit when on two trips to Banff and enjoyed the way it inspired confidence even during slippery conditions.

There is something almost spiritual about taking a performance car out on a highway run. I don’t know if it is the feel of the suspension as it adjust to the road conditions, the whirr of the engine as you effortlessly climb up the gears or the tunes playing on a decent stereo system. Heck its all the above when it comes to the Fusion.

I am at peace as I drive even though my heart races.

Peter and Patricia

Enough about cars…

I’d like to take a moment to offer congrats and blessings to Peter and Patricia as they tie the knot this coming weekend back in Toronto. I have observed this couple throughout various stages of their relationship (I was there the night they met!) and I can say with complete confidence that they were meant for each other.

Peter has been a loyal and trustworthy friend ever since my days at Crawford back in the early to mid 90s (are we that old dude!?) I am sure I speak for more than myself when I say that he is truly a person you can count on to come through when you need his help. Without him I don’t know how I would have survived my first few years back in Toronto. I am forever grateful to him for that time!

Patricia is a perfect match for Peter’s positive outlook on life. Here is a woman who shows what it means to “stand by your man.” Peter is known for his long distance runs across Ontario to meet his familial obligations and Patricia has been his constant and supportive companion.

Overtime the vibe between this two has matured and grown. There is an air of knowing that they are a part of something built on a foundation of trust based on experiences shared together. It is not so much that they are smitten by each other (even though they are!) but rather the calm of something that is meant to last.

Tess and I regret that we will not be able to make it out this coming weekend to join in your celebrations. We have talked about coming out but right now our responsibilities here in Alberta are preventing us from taking any time off to do so. Seems 2009 is off to a running start and we are trying to be prudent in our decision even though events like your nuptials are sadly missed.

We do hope to meet up with you in the future. But for now nothing but the best blessings and wishes are sent from us out here in the west. May all the happiness and joy that you share with others be returned a hundred fold throughout your lives together.

And So We Begin Again...

So my gear is all set for tomorrow and the trip I’m going to take with my Dad to Edmonton. The second of January is on its way out and I’m realizing that the New Year has come and gone without some needed reflection.

This was a subdued passing and rightly so for I spent it caring for my invalid girlfriend who was experiencing flu, a sore throat, and an elusive sinus infection. I think it was the first time she had gone through this ordeal (or rite of passage if you will) and I felt deeply for her.

Earlier in the day (the 31st) my boss and asked me to do favor for him. He wanted me to drive a 5 ton truck south to Calgary in exchange for the free use of a vehicle over New Year’s Eve. I had been debating whether to visit Tess since I was trying to save money. But when I learned that she was sick, I had reserved a car and was prepared to suck up the expense. Hence I jumped at the Zach’s proposal.

Later perched in the cabin of the near semi sized transport truck I gaze out on the frozen landscape that stretches both east west on both sides of the Albertan highway. The term “magnificent desolation” crept quietly into my thoughts even though a massive diesel engine propelled the beast forward through the blowing snow. I smiled at the emptiness because it seemed to bring peace to my soul.

I’ve been year less than a year and yet so much has transpired especially in the past 6 months. This is my “great adventure” this is my “great unknown” and I feel alive even though I have no clue what is around the corner. All I know is that the more I embrace challenges especially having to do with things I thought I’d never do in my life (sell rental contracts, drive semi trucks, and brave Alberta weather) … yeah the more I feel alive.

New Years Day would be eventful with Tess taking a turn for the worse and us ending up in the emergency room of the only hospital in Banff. We would have to deal with a Doctor prescribing medication that would be too strong for her and her vomiting so violently that she’d have to be put on an I.V. in order to restore the nutrient she had lost during the episode. I held her hand through it all and she squeezed it tightly with both trust and fear as she looked at me… And we survived.

I would then find myself driving home to Red Deer in near blizzard weather thankful that the free rental I had gotten was a Dodge Ram 3500 4x4 quarter ton truck that kept a steady pace through the snow and whiteout conditions. Again I would survive and end up home safely.

I think of my friend Karl and our late night conversations during my basement days in Andrews. I wonder what he would think about all this. For sure one of the things I learned from his brief life is that you can never be sure about where your life will take you or how much time you have. Here one moment gone the next. So passed Karl.

The Lord chose to take him at that time and I trust He knew what He was doing. For some reason I feel like my fate will be different. I believe I am meant to see things and I pray learn from them. For what ultimate purpose? I have yet to find out.

But till then, the saga continues.

Christmas Greetings!

Merry Christmas! I do love you all and miss those of you back east dearly. I hope one day we can reunite and rebuild bonds that may have been broken. I pray for you all daily and trust that God takes care of you always.

I am truly sorry if I hurt any of you by my absence. But I finally accepted that I can be no good to any of you if I do not go and face myself first.

I do not know when I shall see you all again but when I am ready I shall return.

To My Parents

I now understand more than ever the sacrifice and effort you have made throughout my life to insure my future and to instill in me sold principles to live my life by. During our time together over the past year I see more and more how blessed I truly am to have you as my parents. I hope during our remaining time together I truly glean from the wisdom that you possess so that I can become a man you can be proud to call your son.

To Tess

Many wonder how people from two different worlds can meet and somehow connect. From the beginning I didn’t believe we were that far apart. And when you took the steps to “reach” me, I knew you felt the same way too.

I know we have a lot of plans for the New Year. They are scary, exciting, and filled with hope. Darling lets trust in God to take us there and it will all be possible.

To Everyone Else

Merry Christmas! Happy New Year! And my God bless each and everyone of you!

2009 It Has to Happen Now...

How can I sum up a year with so much change in my life? I don’t think I can. The best effort to do so was this blog.

I am grateful for so many things in this moment. But I must say the biggest has to be my loving parents who’ve shown me over the past year how much they love and support me. I feel like they have literally dug me out from the hole that I was living my life in and put me in a position to restart my life.

This fact was readily apparent as I was driving to Calgary this past weekend, chatting with my close friend Christine over my cell phone, my hand caressing the leather wrapped steering wheel of a high performance sports sedan, and as I looked forward to spending some time with Tess in the downtown area. Just last year I was living in a dump, unemployed, lamenting my stolen bike, and braving the cold while waiting for a TTC bus to come on through.

Yes I have worked my ass off to have the money to be able to afford weekends like this. But were it not for the generosity of Mom and Dad to invite me to live with them for a little bit and their guidance in engineering my financial recovery – I’d still be in that hole which many others still inhabit.

I know I have been incognito for the past few months – barely showing my face online and avoiding friends and family. But I believe it was necessary. Contrary to popular opinion, this is not because I am in a new relationship, even though Tess is now a new much loved priority in my life. I think it was because I needed time to strategize and find the drive to make the most of the new opportunities in my life. There is a life now that I clearly want and I really want to work towards it.

The time is now and I believe this to be my last chance to get my life right. I cannot afford to fail in the ways that I have failed before. I see the bigger picture now and I believe I am finally mature enough to take on the challenge of simply thriving in life.

So it is with a sense of sobriety that I approach the New Year. I thank God for rescuing me and reminding me that it requires something bigger then I to get it all right. I pray He continues to mold me and gives the strength and courage to face what is to come.

Changes...

It is amazes me how the landscape of one’s life can change so drastically over a short period of time. As I write this blog during some seemingly stolen early Sabbath morning moments, I reflect on this truth as my mother and girlfriend sleep close by. We will have a busy Sabbath with me performing at the Red Deer church and then ferrying Tess back home to Banff later on in the day. I wish things didn’t have to be so rushed but Tess and I have to work on Sunday. We do a lot to steal a day or two to be together despite the long traveling distances between us.

I have been in the valley over the past month or so. I know this is rather obvious by my lack of blog entries and my general lack of online updating. However all of it I believe is necessary for be to digest the significance of these past few weeks and hopefully make wise decisions regarding my future in privacy and internally.

The biggest decision I am facing is regarding my “retirement” from my professional career in graphic design. The biggest influence for this decision is that I believe I am no longer the person I was when I graduated from Andrews University in 2002 with my Multimedia degree. I will always love graphics and will be involved in a one creative project or another for the rest of my life but these will be personal undertakings. I think my time at my last graphic design post is also a strong influence in this decision making process. I found the environment very self-serving and it turned me off because a side of me strongly believes that our career should be geared towards the benefit of others and helping them.

My mother has introduced me to the idea of exploring the RPN (Registered Psychiatric Program) offered at a local university here in Alberta. If there is another area that I enjoy it has to be psychology and therapy and I have often wondered what a career I that field would be like. Nursing is also certainly a very marketable career! I am fervently exploring the program online and will be making.

It is hard to give up something that I’ve been involved with for the past 7 years or so but maybe it is time. I feel I’ve grown up a lot in the past year alone here in Alberta. I feel that I am different and I have a new perspective on a lot of things. I have new goals and dreams and I think I should not waste any time in the committed attempt to fulfill them. God's will has many turns.

I realized that such realizations are costly not only to myself but to those around me. However I firmly believe that they are truly necessary. After all the most important lesson in life are always costly.