2009 It Has to Happen Now...

How can I sum up a year with so much change in my life? I don’t think I can. The best effort to do so was this blog.

I am grateful for so many things in this moment. But I must say the biggest has to be my loving parents who’ve shown me over the past year how much they love and support me. I feel like they have literally dug me out from the hole that I was living my life in and put me in a position to restart my life.

This fact was readily apparent as I was driving to Calgary this past weekend, chatting with my close friend Christine over my cell phone, my hand caressing the leather wrapped steering wheel of a high performance sports sedan, and as I looked forward to spending some time with Tess in the downtown area. Just last year I was living in a dump, unemployed, lamenting my stolen bike, and braving the cold while waiting for a TTC bus to come on through.

Yes I have worked my ass off to have the money to be able to afford weekends like this. But were it not for the generosity of Mom and Dad to invite me to live with them for a little bit and their guidance in engineering my financial recovery – I’d still be in that hole which many others still inhabit.

I know I have been incognito for the past few months – barely showing my face online and avoiding friends and family. But I believe it was necessary. Contrary to popular opinion, this is not because I am in a new relationship, even though Tess is now a new much loved priority in my life. I think it was because I needed time to strategize and find the drive to make the most of the new opportunities in my life. There is a life now that I clearly want and I really want to work towards it.

The time is now and I believe this to be my last chance to get my life right. I cannot afford to fail in the ways that I have failed before. I see the bigger picture now and I believe I am finally mature enough to take on the challenge of simply thriving in life.

So it is with a sense of sobriety that I approach the New Year. I thank God for rescuing me and reminding me that it requires something bigger then I to get it all right. I pray He continues to mold me and gives the strength and courage to face what is to come.