In the Name of the Father...

I will not be in Red Deer this Friday because I’ll be off to Banff to visit Tess. Also between now and then I’ll be pretty busy so I guess this is the only time I can reserve a moment to pay tribute to my Dad: one who will celebrate his birthday on Friday. [Thank goodness for Facebook who helps me in keeping track of such things!]

I have only in recent years begun to relate to my father. Over my lifetime I’ve always looked up to him as fine example of what a human being should be. He is a dedicated worker, believes very much in education as being the “great equalizer, and an individual who truly relates to many different people. But his ideal has always eluded me throughout my life. I’ve always felt like I could not attain it and have often opted to be the antithesis of it.


With the passing of time, I’ve learned about the human side of my father. He has cautiously lifted the veil to reveal aspects of himself that most would not consider to be so pretty. In fact there are chapters in his deep past that no one would be proud of to have in their record. But rather than disgust me, these revelations bonded me to him in a way that I not experienced before.

Life is indeed journey and each of our journeys is unique. We will all stumble and fall and the fulfillment of our potential is not necessarily based on all the right decisions we make but how we react when we have made bad ones. On the flip side, the people we often shun because they’ve fallen from grace or who are pariah because they’ve stumbled, may very well be our greatest teachers, possessors of deep wisdom, and are the diamonds that are no longer in the preverbal rough.

On his special day I’d like to thank my Dad for teaching me these lessons simply by living his life and being willing to share his story with me. I’d also like to congratulate him on his recent re-election as the Vice President of Administration for the Alberta SDA Conference. The position sounds so important but if anything it means that he must serve many and that is his greatest desire.

Love you Dad!

In You Alone...

I did a “bad” thing on Saturday afternoon and snuck off The Parable to listen to some music in the CD section of the store. Well come on now, it was Christian music and I was looking for some sonic inspiration. Alas, I did pick up a collection of 51 worship song classics after skipping through the tracks on the demo disc player and being excited by what I heard.

I popped the last CD of the triple collection and brought up the In Christ Alone/The Solid Rock tracks and sped off on Highway 2A in no particular direction just wanting to get away for a little bit. The song moved me to tears literally as I drove. I kept it on repeat as my inner emotions were released and I sang along with the choir with my voice cracking as the words continued to move me.

It has been a while since I’ve taken a moment to reflect inwardly to take stock of how things are in my life. Since making the commitment to recover financially from the fiasco of recent years, I’ve just been focusing on putting my time in at work and paying tithe regularly (thanks mom!), paying debts, saving, and planning for my financial future. I thank God that things have slowly come together and now I actually am on the plus side of things.

However it hasn’t been easier and work has steadily become harder over recent weeks and I do come home exhausted and mentally drained. I remember feeling trapped in my jobs in Toronto and I certainly don’t want that to happen here because years tend to pass with a wasted feeling when that happens.

I wish I had been smarter in my youth and thought things through with more clarity and maturity. I know the factors that played into the mistakes that I have made and I thank God that I’ve learned from them.

Let me not downplay all positive things that have happened in my life since moving out here to Alberta! I mean the fact that I could pick up a CD and drive out on highway 2A in my car is a testimony to God’s continued blessing in my life and. The fact that I daily am reminded on how lucky I am to have two wonderful parents who even sacrifice to help put a roof over my head moves me still. I have done nothing to deserve their love and support… true love for real.

But I guess with all the blessing and restoration comes a renewed sense that I cannot afford to screw around anymore. I need to grow up, and man up and do something with the opportunities that God has given to me. Especially now with someone who keeps telling me that she will be there but it is my life and she believes that I can come through and is looking towards me to come through.

My heart warms when I hear her say that but it also trembles because I don’t want to fail her. Happy Monthsary darling...

So I turn to you alone to keep me and fulfill your plan for my life oh Lord, for I know that without you I am nothing and that with you anything is possible. Do not leave me for I am too weak to hold on to you and I need your strength to carry me through. For all you have given I can never repay. So please open my heart and my will so it can be one with yours. You are my life my all.

S.O.W. is Sick!

So I’m up at 6 am on a Sabbath morning listening to the MP3s that Addison sent me to sample the new S.O.W. album which I guess I believe is tentatively named “Plant a Seed”. I have to say that I’m quite impressed with the production value of the songs. I’ve been there from the birth of these songs till now and it has been quite a sonic journey.

I must confess that until I heard these tracks, I had no idea where to go with the design of the album look other than I wanted to tie the color scheme into their Youtube site. I went ahead with a design but after hearing the tracks I know that I would have gone a completely different look just because of the fleshed out sound contributed by new members of the group as well as the production value.

Boy what a week at work. I’m suddenly in a crash course of procedure management especially when it comes to handling different insurance replacement deals. Also I’m finally learning all the nuances of closing contracts which can actually be a pain in the ass because it’s a learn as you go process. I often feel like a tool but hey I guess you gotta pay your dues.

I’ve been so exhausted lately after work I’ve actually skipped my workout for about a month and half now and sadly it shows especially with my occasional trips to Micky D’s. That’s one thing I want to change this weekend, which is to workout this afternoon to start my week off right and avoid the fast food for the rest of October. I loved feeling fit and strong and I don’t want to lose that. Come on muscle memory and shock!


Ms. Pelayo is a bit under the weather and I was fortunate to have two computers running as I worked on my album draft so that I could keep her on Yahoo messenger on Dad’s new uber sweet machine while my machine was able to run Photoshop and Illustrator solo. The webcam on his computer is so clear so sick! Yay free high quality calls and video to Banff! Get well soon babe!

Anyway mom will be home soon… Gotta get rid of the Micky D’s evidence… he he he he…

In It!

There is no reason to keep this a secret any longer. I met the wonderful Ms. Pelayo last May [in fact you track our meeting in my blog. She is briefly mentioned in one of the May entries] and after a few more fateful meetings [now you can really read between the lines through my Falling on the Sword entry] we discovered feelings for each other. We started seriously dating in the beginning of September but we wanted to take the time to ease our friends and family into the idea of us a a couple.

There are aspects of my life that I do keep fairly private even though I rant and rave openly in my blog and on facebook about other matters. This is one of those that I like to keep under wraps. Guess its a characterisitic that I learned from my parents especially my Mom. She strongly believes that what happens and is discussed in the family should stay behind closed doors. She also keeps her relationship with my father under wraps. Only the siblings know how deeply she loves my father and how special their relationship is.

I am so blessed to have met someone who has shown me what it means to be loved. That is the best way to put it and sums up why I am here "in it" with her. Please pray for us as we pray for you.

And yes Kristine we hope to see you all in January!

The Words

In the spring of 2002 Sharon Prest, a digital instructor at Andrews Univeristy gave us an assignment in one of our Ethics courses. A extreme sport enthusiast and photographer she gave us a compeling shot of the words Je’t aime scrawled on a cracked and bullet ridden wall. She then asked us to write a short fiction piece inspired by the impact of the photograph. We had 15 minutes. This is what I wrote.

If I say it, will she understand how much it will take out of me?

The first time I saw her was through bars that contained and parted us. I was leaning on the streat; she was looking at some fruit. The bars were there to keep robbers from breaking into the street market on this generic corner in the middle of a generic european city. They did little to protect me from the attraction that began with a glance.

Her skin was the colour of caramel that coated her slim yet sculpted frame. Her hair was the mane of an African lion: Wild, untamed, yet carried with the grace of feminine royalty. Her eyes scrutinized the pepper she cradled in her hand with the refined knowledge of a generation of wise would-be chefs. The way she looked over her proud nose past lips of subtle fire, spoke of a confidance that was born of a lived life.

I stood transfixed and she soon parried my stare.

"If you’re going to continue to stare for much longer, you’re going to have to at least help me find the right one."

She said in an instantly recognizable accent that spoke of studies in a little villa in New Zealand or on the club scene in South African.

"Even that isn’t free."

I felt the colour rush to my cheeks and suddenly I was 16 nervously fumbling over how to not trip into my highschool crush in the lunch line. You know the one. Somehow you became Lothar King of the Neanderthals and even if she gave you a second of her time, you’d always managed to go idiot in that same instant.

How could I tell her I was a photographer and that I had the sudden urge to take her picture and add tangibility to an even now cherished memory? How could I tell her that with all that I had experienced and all that I had captured in the last three months, a moment of pure beauty was a welcome relief? And how could I tell her that seeing her brought air to the starving lungs of my belief that there could still be some good in this world?

"I’m a photographer."

She turned and looked me over and went back to caressing the pepper.

"Well then hurry up and do it then…"

Pause. I wasn’t sure… did she mean… me… camera…

"I have to warn you, " she continued, "there are plenty more sights and people you’ll see here. A lot more interesting than me. So take one and lets get some food, I’m starving."

She took my hand and started leading me down the street.

"And then let’s go find those sites and those people for you…"

Three weeks later we lay across from each other in a hammock on a balcony looking over the street below my hotel room. I digress, as across from each other as her hip would allow mine to travel. The sounds of the street did little to disturb our sanctuary. Our solitude.

"I have to go." I whispered. "It’s what I do."

She got up and walked to the railing and stood there, unwavered in the breeze hinting from the alley’s passageway. I studied her form being sculpted by the caressess of the fleeting gusts that passed through the folds of her sheer dress.

I stood up, walked over, and buried her in my arms.

Her neck nuzzled into mine as she reached up to take me and I felt her lips brush my ears.

"Tell me before you go, "her voice for the first time wavered. "Or else I can’t wait for you."

That night I studied her in the moonlight as the hours passed. I hadn’t said the words in many years. The last time I said them I had only begun to undersand what they truly meant. Was I prepared to say them again?

With me leaving would they have the same meaning when I returned? In all the craziness I had seen around, was it even woth attempting to live up to them again?

This morning as the sun rises on the grain of paradise I have left behind, a bleary eyed figure will step on top of the world and look down at the street. She will be more beautiful than that rising orb of light. And on a bullet kissed granite wall across the street, painted in large letters, are the words.

The words we should all say someday and really mean it.

Daughter of My Mother's People

After 2 weeks of blog incognito, I am finally writing a new entry. Things have been kind of crazy at work with me getting a lot of front desk experience culminating with a day spent at the Budget airport location which is the busiest location in the system. That experience alone has upped my confidence and I would believe competency at that aspect of the job. And we all know competency = sales = more money! One of my contracts along brought in $700 + on top of the rental cost which made my boss super uber happy!

In other news, I finally made it out to Banff on a solo trip this past weekend. I must say that I am even more in love with it than I was when I first visited in 2005 for my college buddy’s wedding (Blanche and Eddie). I also got to take the Nissan which was weirdly cool to take “my car” on that trip. Man how far we have come!

I want to thank Vilma for hooking me up with the suite at the Fox Resort. Ynah for making me feel at home with the all the local Flips. Reeza for inviting me to her birthday party. Sharmane, Joe, Ja Jan ad Je for starting it all. Jill, Ate Daisy and Tita Ledia for supervising. And of course “Mary” Tes: your smile wins me every time!

I didn’t realize how much I missed hanging out with my parent’s people till I got to spend time with these wonderful folks. There are a lot of Filipinos in Banff who are connected to the booming hospitality industry. They’ve developed quite the reputation of being hardworking and industrious… definitely something to be proud of. In a way I feel I’ve found a lost tribe of WBFM members. (Those of you who know what I’m taking about are probably members too. I love and miss you guys so much!)



So Lily rocked it at Janice’s wedding! I’m proud of my little sister and all that she has faced and overcome. But probably the most important accomplishment she has done and is still doing is being a mom to my nephew Calvin. On a side note, I’m still laughing about how some people need to just live their life decisions and not drown them out with the bottle. Suck it up dude, we all have too at some point! I know I am out here and that crap will just slow or destroy what can be a positive process. But I’ll leave it at that.

Oh yes and Chris rocked it while chillin with NKTOB! I'm so happy for you and you totally are with that celebrity status vibe.

Anyway I’m focusing on December and taking what I’ve learned about my body and really applying it in the next few months. I want to close out the year feeling like I made significant progress in my health goals. With God’s help it all possible.

Stay tuned… The saga of Romil is far from over.

Fear is the mind killer...

Fear is the mind killer
I will face my fear
I will let it pass through me

I am a desert creature.

I really like the Dune series by Frank Herbert for the preceding lines alone. In less then 5 lines, this master epic writer has summed up the essence of overcoming negativity in the human experience characterized by self doubt born of fear. The final line suggest that ultimate obstacle in our way is indeed ourselves. In the end self realization and identity are thought to be foundation of a safeguard against the invasion and crippling effect of fear.

Some have said that the hypocrisy found in the church leadership has caused them to turn their backs on it. My response is: as long as any form of earthly human influence is present, even the best of us have the seeds of the worst evil within us. Such is the human condition. Hence no earthly institution, no matter how divinely blessed, is completely immune from negativity.

Where are the threads that unite these seemingly disjoined thoughts? Well if self realization and identity are the safeguards against fear, what do these processes reveal? I suggest that no matter how self-aware you become, and even though you make significant improvements to your ability to master all aspects of your existence, you will still realize the need for a higher power in your life. There is no escaping the human condition. I would even suggest further that all existing human life needs this higher power.

Pride, a byproduct of fear, shuns the idea of dependency. Independent existence devoid of need of anything outside of oneself is looked on as being ideal and anything less is weakness. But what if the opposite, and I believe this to be truth, is true?

Again Romil, what are you getting at? Simply put. No church will ever save you. No man made institution can. If there is any saving to be done, and there is, only God can.

But since we are created in the image of God who is a social being… and here is where things once again become cyclical… because He is a social being… hence our creation cause the Big Dude was lonely… we do benefit from the existence of a church. Just like a hospital is ultimately not a very pleasant place to be during an outbreak of a horrible disease… it may not always to be pleasant in the church… but it is the best place to be when we need to be close to the cure source.

And sometimes our earthly vision is so poor that the only reflection of God we see is the one he places into those who exists around us…

The randomness of my reflection

leave splashes of realization.
Here.

There.

Everywhere.