Music From The Soul

Thank you for playing.
That was beautiful.
I can hear the feeling in your music.

The only thing that I noticed about Ronnie that morning was that she was holding her sweater close to her chest.

She was probably just feeling cold.

My attention flickered. I shifted to Tess who was suffering from a headache and I took her hand and stroked it in an attempt to offer a means of comfort. I too was feeling drowsy after having driven late into the night right after a long day’s work. I could barely focus on what was happening at the front of the church.

I had been asked to play and my saxophone was warmed up and ready for action. I had listened to the demonstration track repeated on the road the night before so the tune was annoyingly planted in my head. I play what I hear. In the absence of real-time sound, I play what has been embedded in my brain. So much for musical technique…

A moment later it was my turn. I attempted to quiet and centre myself in the middle of the room. I focused upwards and hoped the sound would follow.

I blew.

While one plays an instrument, and they are in true form, I believe there is a seamless conduit that exists between their soul and the music. Only about a third of the time during my playing history have I been in true form. My mind, often my ally now an enemy, often blocks the conduit.

This was one of those times.

I knew exactly what the problem was. It really isn’t about how well you play but rather if your heart is in the music. Not my words but certainly my sentiment. It is extremely difficult to finish a song you know is going poorly but I pushed on.

It was over before I knew it and walked quietly back to my seat.

After the service Ronnie approached me and reached out her hand. Despite the hustle and bustle around us I now knew something was off. She seemed frail. Her handshake felt lifeless.

Thank you for playing.
That was beautiful.
I can hear the feeling in your music.

And then she was gone.


“Romil do think you can do me a favor?”

I turned.

“Yes Sharmaine. What is it?"

“Do you want to join us in a prayer circle?”

“Sure for what exactly?”

“Ronnie. I don’t know why she didn’t stay home. She just had final surgery last week… for breast cancer. ”

My Top 7.

For every reason I should be writing this latest blog about the progress Tess and I have made in our wedding plans. And we have indeed made tremendous progress towards making sure everything is in place for our big day. But I think the few nuptial morsels I’ve posted on here and on FACEBOOK should suffice and there is much to be said about leaving a lot of it in the realm of surprise.

Instead, let us talk about movies! For starters, I am a confirmed movie freak. I am the kind of person who will go to the theatre by myself to catch a flick even if no one wants to tag along. In fact some of my fondest memories of my university years involved sneaking off in my beloved Camry for some quality time watching flicks at the Ready Theater in Niles, Michigan.

The following is a reflection on the 7 movies that have influenced me the greatest.

7. Ben – Hur (1959)
For all you Gladiator and Braveheart fans you cannot say that you are fans of big epic films without recognizing Ben –Hur . This is Charlton Heston at his finest and the way a sweeping story should be told. Yeah you may knock the pompous dialogue and the lack of digital effects but the pivotal chariot race, (all live action folks everything is real) still stands as one of the greatest action sequences ever recorded on film.

6. Akira (1988)
Akira proved that Anime was on a whole different level than your Saturday morning cartoons. The story explored themes of spirituality, friendship, and betrayal as well as a subtle exploration of Japan’s recovery from the effects of nuclear fallout. And while we are quite a bit away from 1988, Kaneda’s bike still rocks! Next to the Ducati 916 it is still one motorcycle design that has stood the test of time.

5. Stealing Home (1988)
Now in my 30s I think the impact of this movie is far greater than when I first became a fan after seeing it for the first time in 1990. Jodie Foster and Mark Harmon help tell this classic coming of age story about a boy and his childhood babysitter. Years later upon discovering she has died from apparent suicide he begins a sentimental journey into his past in order to find out what he is going to do with her ashes. This movie will always be a landmark in my life because it was the last movie I watched with my friends in Fresno before my family’s life changing move to Toronto. The David Foster soundtrack offered me much comfort during that trying time.

4. Gattaca (1997)
This is a movie I actually love to watch during a rainy day or when I am feeling overwhelmed by my life. While many praise this film for humanizing the issues revolving around genetic research and pre-determination, I enjoy this movie because it uplifts the idea of overcoming despite seemingly insurmountable odds. It has been a few years since I’ve seen and I think it is worth a review. Uma Thurman is luminous in this film.

3. Elizabethtown (2005)
This instantly took me in because it revolves around a character who has failed miserably as a designer followed by a notice that his estranged Dad has died. What follows is a journey back to his roots to rediscover the essence of life is about. Along the way we experience music, a road trip through small town USA and of course Clair. I think every man should findtheir Clair.

2. The Matrix (1999)
I cannot believe it has been 10 years since this movie first came out. When Trinity first leaps into the air and the audience experiences “bullet-time” for the first time, my imagination was awakened and this movie was the foundation of my motivation to excel in my in education in digital arts. I miss that time when I felt free to create and explore without limitation. Incidentally it was the first DVD I first bought!

1. The Godfather Part III (1990)
Many critics say this movie should have never been made because it is inferior to the first two. In that sense I would have to agree. But I love this chapter for 2 reasons. 1. It was the first of the trilogy that I saw and I was pulled into the story that was indeed about family. 2 . The scene on the staircase during the final moments of the movie where Don Corleone (Al Pacino) holds his dead daughter (Sofia Coppola) in his arms and lifts his head in silent scream of anguish…

I cry every time I see this scene.