I was awakened this morning to what sounded like my Dad coughing up a lung. He was recently diagnosed with bronchitis and has been house bound for the past week. Another victim of the harsh Alberta winters which are known for their sub 30 degree temperatures, I know he will recover but it will take time.
Yesterday I spent the afternoon in Calgary training in accident and damage identification and reporting. Something our trainer said stood out from the rest. She said, “It’s all about how you play the game.” Later she reprised this by saying, “You have to play the game.”
My heart sank a little bit when I heard this. I guess I grow weary of the preverbal game we do play in order to survive while working towards actually thriving. We all do it. We all have our role. In the end that means there is no one to blame.
I have seen people with so much potential to be individuals with good character, falter and sellout in order to protect themselves or the ones they care for. (Come to think of it the latter is still closely related to the former.) I do not sit in judgment but rather point the finger more harshly at myself. For I have done so many a time.
“I still haven’t found what I am looking for.”
So goes one of my favorite U2 songs. There is a powerful message in the lyric. But it also begs for a follow up question. “What are you looking for?” And even deeper, “is what you are looking for, what you should be looking for?” Finally, “what should we be looking for?”
Last night, as my fiancé and I were internet conferencing over Yahoo, we were sobered by recent events in our families: the sickness of my Dad, an accident involving her brother Dante, and also the financial challenges that lie ahead for both of us. “Itong buhay.” She sighed.
“This life.”
Indeed.
Yesterday I spent the afternoon in Calgary training in accident and damage identification and reporting. Something our trainer said stood out from the rest. She said, “It’s all about how you play the game.” Later she reprised this by saying, “You have to play the game.”
My heart sank a little bit when I heard this. I guess I grow weary of the preverbal game we do play in order to survive while working towards actually thriving. We all do it. We all have our role. In the end that means there is no one to blame.
I have seen people with so much potential to be individuals with good character, falter and sellout in order to protect themselves or the ones they care for. (Come to think of it the latter is still closely related to the former.) I do not sit in judgment but rather point the finger more harshly at myself. For I have done so many a time.
“I still haven’t found what I am looking for.”
So goes one of my favorite U2 songs. There is a powerful message in the lyric. But it also begs for a follow up question. “What are you looking for?” And even deeper, “is what you are looking for, what you should be looking for?” Finally, “what should we be looking for?”
Last night, as my fiancé and I were internet conferencing over Yahoo, we were sobered by recent events in our families: the sickness of my Dad, an accident involving her brother Dante, and also the financial challenges that lie ahead for both of us. “Itong buhay.” She sighed.
“This life.”
Indeed.
I think about my two sisters and their struggles especially raising young children in this day and age. I wonder about my niece who is has the characteristic “headstrongness” of a Daquila female family member. I also wonder about my nephew who is way too insightful and smart for a kid. I marvel how my sisters find it in them to face the unknown knowing that they have to be responsible not only for themselves but the future generation who are here today.
Keep your chins up! I love you!
Outside the world corrupts and destroys itself more and more each day.
It may seem sappy or even cheesy. In the dramatic build of things it almost seems anticlimactic. But true inner reflection shows us the simple truth. We do need God in our lives.
I need Him.
"Finish what you have started for I cannot do this alone."
Be with me.
Guide me.
Help me.
No comments:
Post a Comment