So I’m grateful for the love and support that came my way in regards to my playing engagement at church yesterday. When I got up to play I distinctly told myself “just pretend you are back at WBFM and everyone there is carrying you through the song.” It worked and I feel I definitely played it clean. Tank dah lawd mos high and my fam back in da T dot!
People came up to me after to compliment me on a job well one. I secretly wished they could see me in a jam session with some of my friends of color. Or maybe even “building to the soar” at a gospel concert. That’s when I really feel like I’m throwing down and reaching my potential. However I still need to work on more power and sustained vibrato that truly comes from having your abs in shape. Alas, more crunch work ahead or maybe I should go get a wheel like July and Majoire (you are my fitness gurus! Y’all can mos defahnitly school mah ass!)
People seem really nice here and I want to give them the benefit of the doubt. But… I wonder how much of it is the veil a lot of hardcore Christians wear when they hang out on Sabbath. Those of you who grew up in Christianity know what I am talking about… That “Sabbath” face and attitude you put on because either you want people to think you’re saintly or because you want to avoid the “trouble” that comes when Christian’s judge each other’s shortcomings…
Now I’m not calling out people. I can sense that a lot you/them are wonderfully nice! I’m just saying what I’d really like is people to be real with me. I don’t really care if I run into your ugly side. You don’t have to put all that stuff on just cause I’m Pastor Daquila’s son… Chances are I’ve been involved and done things that would make you blush! Not that I’m promoting a life of reckless abandon - I’m all grown up now… or A LOT more grown up now andI am embracing a journey leading to deeper spirituality…
But let’s just stop pretending we’re saints and admit we watch movies, eat meat, (well I’m veggie for the most part for working out reasons. But I’ll go eat a steak with you if you invite me! hint hint...) dance our asses off when our jam comes on, rock it out when we can, get a bit tipsy to celebrate, question the relavence of religion, follow the latest fashion, (even if it means wearing jewelry!) swear when shit goes bad, lust over Roselyn Sanchez (or insert the latest hottie there!) and yes struggle to rise above it all. That’s my list, but I’m sure you have your own… Well that’s the list I want to see behind your squeaky clean image!
Anyway so there is this guy Franz, flip dude who made me laugh when he went off on the youth pastor about Filipinos not being oriental as we were readying ourselves to go onto the platform. Poor guy. I think the youngin’ pastor actually didn’t know. But it was a moment of realness and I totally dug that. Thanks dude! You made my Sabbath.
Well to everyone who has made it this far through my blog entry… hope this triggers some thoughts. But realize its all layered with love and willingness to accept you for who you are. Plenty of room in my life for you!
Special thanks to Curtis, Karin, Rita, Lucia (sorry if ah slaugtered your names) and Jorlene for reaching out!
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