To Learn A Song and Craving the Road...

I’m learning how to play the song “Heal the Wound (But leave the Scar)” originally performed by Point of Grace. Basically I’m pumping the music into my brain via my MP3 player powering my new Phillips SHE9700 High Definition Ear Canal Monitors. High powered ear bud earphones in other words with natural outside noise cancellation properties. Not exactly Shure quality (industry standard) but good enough for a guy who can’t shell out $200 for ear buds at this point in his life.

I set the song to repeat and let just let it play over and over again until I catch it playing in my head the next day. Embedding no? I now have the melody in my mind which I can then “feel” as I play my saxophone. This might be an unconventional way to learn how to play a song but I find it works. Also it speeds up the learning process and I only have a few days to come up with an instrumental version of the song because I’m playing it this coming Sabbath for church.

It is now that time of year when the mornings are crispy, sunny, and the air is new. That can only mean one thing: it is time for the cycling community to hit the road! I can’t express in words how envious I am when I see a “kitted” out cyclist in full flight on the side of the road. I think this envy grows even more when I am in Banff and I know these individuals are riding some of what I consider to be the best roads in North America.

There is a stretch of road that winds around Lake Miniwanka that I am totally craving to ride. (This is the stretch where Tess and I took our pseudo engagement pictures.) This road is awesome to drive on and the views are indeed breathtaking but I can only imagine that the experience is increased 100 fold when you do on the back of a performance bicycle.


I have a made the vow that before I leave Alberta, I will do that stretch on a high performance road bike. I figure if you simplify your life to simple and straightforward goals such as this one, you have a greater chance of accomplishing them.

Anyway I am going to “fire up” the saxophone for a good hours practice before I do my daily workout.

One

Irritation of The Taco Deprived...

Everyone who knows me knows that I have a love of Mexican food. I think I gained this love during my years in Fresno, California. Of course to truly appreciate Mexican food you gotta be close to the source and we sure were during those Cali days.

Having said that, Taco Bell is a poor replacement for the real deal but it does suffice when I get the craving for all things... Well... Taco... The Nacho Supreme is pure genius! I even have to thank Majoire Santos for turning me on to original creations like the Crunchwrap which I love in both the beef and chicken versions! I still miss those weekend runs to the Taco Bell over there in Brampton, Ontario with the WBFM crew.

I was really quite shocked when I realized that Red Deer does not have a Taco Bell! Horrors! But then Dad informed me that we had Taco Time... I laughed because being a closet Kim Possible fan, I knew that her and Ron Stoppable would chill at a local establishment by the same name.

"So there really is a Taco Time?"

Many people claim that Taco Time is better then Taco Bell but I dunno.... I kinda like the latter better. But with the absence of the former... I'm finding a few dishes that I dig on. Hey a place that puts out light tortilla chips with a generous serving of guacamole and sour cream gets an A in my grade book.

So when Tom showed up at Budget a month or so ago I was instantly intrigued when he informed me that he was the manager of the Taco Time in town. This was during the time when we were first implementing the Wizard rental system and every possible technical issue that could go wrong did. I could tell Tom was itching to get himself on the road and thankfully I realized that even though we had him reserved for a mid size car, we had none available so it meant a free upgrade to an SUV. He was genuinely surprised and quickly forgot about his long wait.

Fast forward to last Wednesday. I was having a tough day. Our supervisor, a person I'm really having a tough time working with of late, (Cue voice of mom. "She is your sanctification!")
was being extra difficult and I was literally counting the minutes till I could escape for home. Tom shows up and once gain he is reserved for a mid size and once again all I have to give him is an SUV. This time he is even more pleased because I just made his 2 week trip to the States that much more fun filled especially for his kids. (The SUV had a DVD and Playstation hookup in the back.)

"You like Mexican food Romil?"
"Yes sir I do!"
"Well let me hook you up with free meals at Taco Time!"
"Right on bro!"

The rest is Burrito history...

Well the sabbath is fast approaching and I'm thankful that I've got today and tomorrow off. It gives me a chance to relax and realize that there is more to life then getting up for work at 6 am and dealing with difficult people. It amazes me how God can truly love all of us when we truly are at times an unlovely bunch. Honestly when I first think about this reality it is usually motivated by the ugliness I seen in others. But to truly be real, a lot of the ugliness comes from me too.

Heavy thoughts at the tail end of this blog entry. But to tie it in to the early lightheartedness: I am glad He gives us light moments to break up the growth stages of our lives. I'm grateful that God fully realizes how to motivate us and grant us the hope we need to press on when we need it.

A lot can be drawn from a free Taco!

So That I May See Your Face...

Being around photo albums and a basement full of old memories often causes me to reflect on the last 33 years of my life. Sadly this reflection is filled with regret. I chide myself for wasting so much precious time on insignificant pursuits. Love of the wrong person, a field of study I had no business pursuing, and financial irresponsibility. There are many.

The same thing happens when I’m assigned wash bay duty at work. I wonder how a guy with two university degrees can end up brushing dirt from the carpet of cars and mopping muddy floors.

What is even worse is realizing just how it all happened.
No one to blame but me.

My father has been gently offering insight into my thoughts by reacquainting me with the things that promote self worth and personal value. He is quick to point out that it is the simple things, (the tiny details that we tend to neglect because we think that these are the things that waste time) that over time will make the difference.

I listen, I digest.
I’m scared it won’t work.
I don’t know if I have it in me.

Then the words of comfort come.
The One who has been there since the beginning speaks.


I am valued by Him.

The beauty of the value that God places on us is that it is not based on anything we can do – rather it is based one truth. We are His children. Simply being his child means we have a purpose, possess incredible value, and are loved enough to motivate the greatest sacrifice a parent can ever make…

The death of His beloved son…

As Tess and I make plans for the future there are more questions then answers. Many hills block the promise land.

I often cannot see your face because darkness blocks the light.

But then I pray.

I pray you remember the little boy who lay in the field many years ago with his dog at his side. His eyes looked heavenward and his hands reach out to grab a passing cloud that resembled a hand.

Your hand.

And you promised you would never let me go.

Picture: Natalie Kalovoda Subject: Calvin & Lily

The Hopia Chronicles

“You know dear, even if I’m mad at you and I feel like giving up, you should know just because I’m mad doesn’t mean I don’t love you. I always love you! I really really love you!”

People are asking about details. Simply put, these are the words that won my heart.

This Life

I was awakened this morning to what sounded like my Dad coughing up a lung. He was recently diagnosed with bronchitis and has been house bound for the past week. Another victim of the harsh Alberta winters which are known for their sub 30 degree temperatures, I know he will recover but it will take time.

Yesterday I spent the afternoon in Calgary training in accident and damage identification and reporting. Something our trainer said stood out from the rest. She said, “It’s all about how you play the game.” Later she reprised this by saying, “You have to play the game.”

My heart sank a little bit when I heard this. I guess I grow weary of the preverbal game we do play in order to survive while working towards actually thriving. We all do it. We all have our role. In the end that means there is no one to blame.

I have seen people with so much potential to be individuals with good character, falter and sellout in order to protect themselves or the ones they care for. (Come to think of it the latter is still closely related to the former.) I do not sit in judgment but rather point the finger more harshly at myself. For I have done so many a time.

“I still haven’t found what I am looking for.”

So goes one of my favorite U2 songs. There is a powerful message in the lyric. But it also begs for a follow up question. “What are you looking for?” And even deeper, “is what you are looking for, what you should be looking for?” Finally, “what should we be looking for?”

Last night, as my fiancé and I were internet conferencing over Yahoo, we were sobered by recent events in our families: the sickness of my Dad, an accident involving her brother Dante, and also the financial challenges that lie ahead for both of us. “Itong buhay.” She sighed.

“This life.”

Indeed.

I think about my two sisters and their struggles especially raising young children in this day and age. I wonder about my niece who is has the characteristic “headstrongness” of a Daquila female family member. I also wonder about my nephew who is way too insightful and smart for a kid. I marvel how my sisters find it in them to face the unknown knowing that they have to be responsible not only for themselves but the future generation who are here today.


Keep your chins up! I love you!

Outside the world corrupts and destroys itself more and more each day.

It may seem sappy or even cheesy. In the dramatic build of things it almost seems anticlimactic. But true inner reflection shows us the simple truth. We do need God in our lives.

I need Him.

"Finish what you have started for I cannot do this alone."

Be with me.
Guide me.
Help me.

1 Year Later...

Well its time to jumpstart this blog again after a few months of neglect. I am kind of kicking myself in the ass because of it because when I was faithfully keeping a regular schedule with it I did notice an improvement in my writing. Practice makes perfect.

Back in Fresno during the late 80s my sister Lily and I used to be fans of a radio program called Unshackled. This was a classic radio drama which focused on stories of conversion. I remember that each week the individual whose story was being dramatized would reach a cross roads where they would need to “to face themselves and think.”

I remember during my last few months in Toronto I spent little time in front of the mirror. I slept a lot and lived off of breadsticks from Domino’s Pizza. I wasn’t a very happy person and I felt I had gotten stuck in a rut with no way of getting out. I’m a person who early on realized that there is a difference between simply existing and really living. I was just existing.

I would like to say that being out here has completely turned my life around in such a dramatic way much like the people on that old radio program but instead, I must confess that I am still very much in process. There have been many changes. I now know that I want to do something completely different with the rest of my life. I have rediscovered my love of music and reconnected with my saxophone. I now understand my parents more and much of the “why” for a lot of the unexplained events in my life. I can appreciate how hard work can be and that you really do need to work hard for what you have. However, no matter how hard we work, we will always be dependent on God. And finally, I have rediscovered love and it has rediscovered me.

As my fiancé (!) and I enjoyed a lazy Sabbath afternoon this past weekend in Banff, there was a moment when I lay opposite her on a couch and I was able to watch her intently focus on something she had surfed to on Youtube. She was so into it and her face was unguarded betraying her emotional connection to what she saw. Her eyes caught the light coming from the screen and seemed to glow. While I wasn’t even a part of this moment I felt so close to her and felt like I had experienced intimacy with the one I love.

Lord knows there are struggles ahead. I pray intently for strength. But I also praise Him for the blessings that He has given me over the past year. I pray He finishes what He has started so that we may both one day look back on the journey and simply breathe a sigh of contentment and satisfaction over the road traveled to reach here…

Nuptuals and The Maturity of Inspector Calahan

It is so rare these days that I get to sit in front of the computer and sum up my thoughts and musings. But here I am trying to assemble a blog entry to post online. Much has happened in the past little bit and here are some brief reflections on said events.

2009 has been the year of weddings. Just this past weekend I attended another one. This one was in Banff and I got to play two sax solos for the event. I was thrilled to meet the Honorable Judge Robin White who performed the ceremony and directed me in my blocking for my performance. Apparently this was big deal because said judge and the father of the groom (a wealthy Japanese business man) were very much upper tier on the social circuit in Banff.

Other than meeting the judge I enjoyed the food, (surprisingly, the highlight dish was the potatoes! I had thirds.) Horsing around with the MC’s son Glenn, (dude I really don’t think “Beautiful” by James Blunt is appropriate for a wedding!) And paying $3.00 for a can of Pepsi at the bar! (The waitress was eyeing me for a tip. Yeah I dropped another 2 bucks for that can!)



Tess had to work early in the evening the next day so after church I headed back to Red Deer early. Besides pushing the Fusion’s V6 and the car to speeds in excess of 140 km (North of 80 mph for you American readers! Something you don’t want to do unless you have a great handling car on Highway 1 in the winter!) I took the short cut around Calgary through Cochrane and Airdrie and made it back to Gasoline Alley (just before Red Deer) in about 2 hrs and 15 minutes. I arrived “early” at about 6:30 pm. So I figured I’d catch a movie at the Galaxy.

I bought a ticket for Grand Turino starring Clint Eastwood. Clint plays a character named Walt who is a Korean War veteran that has deep seated prejudiced views about Asians. These prejudices are a brought to the surface when Hmong family moves in next door. Tao, a teenage boy, is a member of said family and is shy and unassuming. Events escalate between Tao and Walt when the former is forced to steal Walt’s prized Grand Turino in order to be accepted into a local Hmong gang.

This is said to be Clint Eastwood’s last movie as an actor and as my status on Facebook alludes, it is a wonderful way to go. Once scene in particular stands out. It is when Su, Walt’s new Hmong friend and sister to Tao (yes the dude warms up to Asians in his way) is being harassed by black street gang and the aged yet still menacing Walt comes to her rescue. I couldn’t help but compare this to famous “Do you feel lucky punk” scene in Dirty Harry. It seems that cinema has matured and having Eastwood here is proof.