Changes...

It is amazes me how the landscape of one’s life can change so drastically over a short period of time. As I write this blog during some seemingly stolen early Sabbath morning moments, I reflect on this truth as my mother and girlfriend sleep close by. We will have a busy Sabbath with me performing at the Red Deer church and then ferrying Tess back home to Banff later on in the day. I wish things didn’t have to be so rushed but Tess and I have to work on Sunday. We do a lot to steal a day or two to be together despite the long traveling distances between us.

I have been in the valley over the past month or so. I know this is rather obvious by my lack of blog entries and my general lack of online updating. However all of it I believe is necessary for be to digest the significance of these past few weeks and hopefully make wise decisions regarding my future in privacy and internally.

The biggest decision I am facing is regarding my “retirement” from my professional career in graphic design. The biggest influence for this decision is that I believe I am no longer the person I was when I graduated from Andrews University in 2002 with my Multimedia degree. I will always love graphics and will be involved in a one creative project or another for the rest of my life but these will be personal undertakings. I think my time at my last graphic design post is also a strong influence in this decision making process. I found the environment very self-serving and it turned me off because a side of me strongly believes that our career should be geared towards the benefit of others and helping them.

My mother has introduced me to the idea of exploring the RPN (Registered Psychiatric Program) offered at a local university here in Alberta. If there is another area that I enjoy it has to be psychology and therapy and I have often wondered what a career I that field would be like. Nursing is also certainly a very marketable career! I am fervently exploring the program online and will be making.

It is hard to give up something that I’ve been involved with for the past 7 years or so but maybe it is time. I feel I’ve grown up a lot in the past year alone here in Alberta. I feel that I am different and I have a new perspective on a lot of things. I have new goals and dreams and I think I should not waste any time in the committed attempt to fulfill them. God's will has many turns.

I realized that such realizations are costly not only to myself but to those around me. However I firmly believe that they are truly necessary. After all the most important lesson in life are always costly.

Steps Foreward...

A breather on a Sunday evening and chance to write out a blog entry: such a rarity these days. So much has transpired since my last offering and it seems impossible to sum it up even now. But here goes my attempt.

First a few comments on recent realizations. I’ve been blind for most of my life. Yes that is my first realization. Just stating it makes me want to kick myself in the ass because I really didn’t get what life was about until recently. I guess a few hours in the wash bay of our rental location will do that to anyone.

Work

I’ve never worked so hard in my entire life at a job. That is the truth. I have not had the discipline or the strength of will to give anything pure effort. But I went into this job having something to prove and regarded it as a sort of last ditch effort to see if I could actually simply work.

It hasn’t been easy. I’ve made every single mistake one could make and I often feel like I’ve even made more. But slowly, with God’s help, I’ve picked myself up and kept pushing - often returning home worn out emotionally and physically.

This past week my manager informed me that I had won the month long fuel selling contest with the highest percentage of fuel sold. An amazing 43 percent of my contracts had fuel sold which even blew me away. When the contest first started, I thought I had no chance at winning but tried to at least keep my numbers on the board.

This win has been the boost I needed to get me game tighter and I am happy to report that I am current at about 90% as far as selling commission worthy products on all my contracts so far this month. Praise God for sending me the right customers!

Friends

I want to thank Ritchey, Franz, Linda, and Karin for inviting me to hang out this past weekend at Gullivers. Good times guys and good food. I know I tend to disappear for weeks on end but you guys always check in and invite me to stuff. I also had fun at Ritchey house listening to you guys rock out in the basement. Glad we finally hooked that up.

End of an Era

When I learned that a certain someone was making the move back to her home overseas, it caused me to take a moment to reflect on back to 2006 and 2007 which I fondly refer to as the “cycling commuter years”.

There were some hard lessons learned because of that experience and I can’t say that I would want to go back to that emotional place ever again. I am grateful for what I have learned and pray daily that I can apply it all to my life now.

I am disappointed when aspects of my character that are still flawed manifest themselves even out here in Alberta. But I pray and hope that God continues to inspire and work within me to conquer these flaws.

Love

It is hard to explain why this one is so special to me. But on the other hand it may be as simple as hearing her say “I love you” and knowing that she means it with all of what she can give another human being.

Or maybe it is as simple as seeing the efforts she went through to make me feel better. Sadly this is something that I have not experienced in the past at this level.

Wrongs That Must Be Set Right

The bike will be replaced. This is the one thing I know in my heart that needs to be set right. I know I will be content to let everything else go except this one thing. The bike must be replaced this spring.


...creativity is returning... the sleeping graphic designer dragon is awakening...